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Day Two: Oh Sweet Mystery of Life at Last I’ve Found You

November 2, 2010

Writing highlights from today:

No, the problem with Pedro is not that he is a caramel skinned Adonis with the musculature and penile girth of a particularly fine racehorse who happens to come from Mexico. The problem with Pedro is that he is a drug dealer and an all around bastard criminal, and that he was secretly plotting to murder Tina and steal all her money, and that is why HE wants to keep their relationship a secret. But Tina has no knowledge of this, so technically it should not be included in the story. We can therefore go back to thinking Pedro is the bee’s knees, just like Tina does. Do bees even have knees? Why is that even a thing?  It’s totally because it rhymes, I understand that, but couldn’t it be bee’s cheese, or some other random rhyming word that bees patently do NOT have?

Right now I’m in the honeymoon phase of the NaNoWriMo process. My characters are all buxom young virgins running across a meadow strewn with buttercups, and I am the dapper young suitor reading courtly poetry and trying to keep up with them as they run because I am overweight. I know that somewhere around the bend my characters will start snoring like drunken walruses and that I will develop extreme irritation over their tendency to leave their socks in a little wad on the bathroom floor. But right now, all is possibility, all doors are open, and all I can see is a field of buttercups that have sadly been crushed because me and my characters have been busy running around all day in the field with romantic abandon.

I don’t think I’ve ever written a character who I didn’t start to hate. They all seem so awesome and full of potential at the beginning, and then they turn out to be total bastards whose values are at odds with mine and whose behavior makes me want to stick my head in an oven. This must be what having children feels like.

It’s hard to pay attention to the inevitable end of the honeymoon while the honeymoon is in full swing, however. So I’m going to savor it and love my characters while I still can. I’m at 5000 words and counting, and my protagonist is an angel with wings made out of candy.

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