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A Love Letter (or Is It a Dear John?)

February 10, 2010

Dear Fiction,

I am very sorry I haven’t had much time for you lately. It’s not that I don’t care for you, it’s just that I’ve been very busy with work. I know you require attention and nurturing, and I am prepared to give you those things. I promise that sometime this week I will make time for the two of us. We can pop open a bottle of wine and whisper sweet nothings across the table while secretly playing footsy underneath.

The truth is, I would rather spend time with you than with that dull non-fiction article I’ve been working on. I’ve never met a more boring piece of writing. Being around that article for long periods of time makes me feel depressed. Not like you. You make me feel special and creative. You’re so awesome.

Here’s the thing, fiction. You are funny and charming and I never know what you’re going to do next. I feel happy and free when I’m with you. Unfortunately, I am broke. I hate to be the sort of person who is all about the money. I know you despise that kind of thing. You would tell me I am selling out. But I need to eat and pay my bills, and fiction, you just don’t cut it in that department. Writers everywhere are giving you away for free.

It’s not your fault. Editors of literary magazines tell me that you are worthless. I’m not saying I agree with them, I’m just telling you what they say. They say you are worth no money, or maybe a cent a word if I am lucky. They say I should be happy that I’m getting my name out there (cringe).

On the other hand, I can write a silly article about unique cat names in about two hours and get paid fifteen dollars an hour to do it. Non-fiction is dull, but she’s practical. I’m getting older. I need stability and a paycheck with her rather than endless thrills with you.

I don’t know what else to say. I hope that we can remain friends. I certainly would like to do some more work on you at some point. It’s cool with non-fiction, she’s pretty laid back. So…I guess I’ll give you a call sometime soon. Yeah. I definitely will.



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