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Hate Mail

February 2, 2010

Dear Search Engine Optimization,

I hate you. You take all the joy out of writing and turn it into a guessing game I can never win, because I am not a machine and therefore cannot think like one. You’re like a manipulative girlfriend who’s all pissed off about something but won’t tell me what it is or what I can do to fix it.

If you had your way, I would write everything like this: blog writing blogs about writing writing blogs. It’s like a horrible nightmare where I’ve turned into a Gertrude Stein robot. “Cats cats health cat health care vets cat suggestions cats.” “Computers Windows troubleshooting Windows computer help.” Is this post-modernism? Or is it just crap?

Oh wait, those are the same thing…

Go to hell, SEO. I bet all the other marketing strategies hate you, too. I bet they don’t invite you to their parties. You stink, you fat sadistic mentally retarded Google function.

Yours with vitriol and razor blades,

Greer

Now that I’ve got that out of my system, I’ll go add keywords to my article…

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